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The Hanlon Family
Pat & Laura, Molly & Jake, Maggy & Andrew,  Frankie
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The History of the Cunardly Breed of Dog.

 

1. History

    The Cunardly ( sometimes misspelled Canardly) breed of dog is an exceedingly rare breed originating in the Antarctic continent. The breed was first documented by Ernest Shackleton on his first trip to the continent with Robert Scott. The name is derived from the ship company hired to bring supplies for the expedition, the Cunard lines. The Cunardly breed was easily domesticated owing to the fact that it had no natural predators on the continent and it's affinity for human interaction. During the first encounter it is said that a group of five Cunardly tailed the expedition for 100 miles and even volunteered for sled dog duty which is unheard of in the dog world. It was noted that there was nary a dogfight with a Cunardly the whole time the breed worked the sleds. The Cunardly group left the sledding party after pulling the sleds for well over 110 miles and were not seen by any other explorers for over 50 years. In 1958 Sir Edmund Hillary on his voyage to the pole discovered a small pack of Cunardly holed up in a den near Mt. Erebus and convinced the pack to travel with him. Sir Edmund has been known for his amazing ability to connect with wild animals such as his exploits with the Himalayan wildebeests in 1953. These dogs proved to be excellent cold weather workers withstanding -200 degrees without one frozen snout. At the end of the expedition one Cunardly ( named Francisco after the Spanish cook on the mission) volunteered to come back to Great Britain with Sir Edmund and lived well over 12 comfortable years in his home and became as Sir Edmund said " He's one fine dog". When Francisco died he was stuffed and mounted in the cold weather museum Sir Edmund maintains at his home. The breed has not been spotted since 1958 and was considered extinct until Sir Edmund contacted the Roslin Institute in Scotland in 1997 for possible cloning.  As of this date there are three cloned Francisco's in the world, all males as they used a specific clonal method called spermatozoa cloning. The North American Cunardly (Frankie) is at Porcupine Hollow Farm. The European Cunardly (Franzwa) can be found on the Arctic territory of Franz Josef Land  though there are no native penguin available there and the last Cunardly lives in South Africa ( obutufrancisco) which is home to the jack ass penguin thus he is close to a native penguin food source.

Nother news flash  Due to global warming Cunardly's have been seen in mid South America traveling north at night, speculation has it that they are migrating to the north pole where the temperatures are expected to be cooler than the south pole.

2. Care

  The Cunardly is a high maintenance canine and as such is not a breed for the weak hearted soul. Please do not think of this breed for Grandma in her golden years. Their appetite for raw penguin meat is somewhat disgusting. The only native food for the Cunardly is penguin meat. This can be very expensive and is a serious drawback for teenage dog lovers. The only known supplier of penguin fillet's in the world is a medical research facility in Switzerland. Penguins are the preferred animal for the development of  the bird flu vaccine due to the penguins large body size which allows many, many more syringe needle punctures than the second choice bird, the robin. The thousands of needle holes actually tenderizes the meat in effect enabling  the Cunardly to digest the penguin fillets much better. As luck would have it, venison happens to have nearly the same blubber content as penguin meat and is a viable alternative. We here at Porcupine Hollow have been issued a special license from the Michigan Department of Agriculture for non traditional hunting of deer. We are allowed one deer per month, not counting any road kill we happen to find. Our Cunardly must bring the deer down on his own and may not use any special equipment. His great speed ( clocked at 38 MPH) enables him to bring down his dinner usually within two minutes. This breed must have his double fir coat shaved every month during the warm season or heat stroke is a certainty. Also one must provide a refrigerated cooler  room to allow him to cool down in warm weather. We also provide the penguin cam for his entertainment.

3. Traits

  The first visible difference in the Canardly is the eyes. The right eye is blue to enable the canine to see in the 24 hour darkness in the Antarctic winter. It has superb low light ability but is useless in the brilliant summer sunshine. It has a somewhat reptilian inner eyelid that allows some protection from the summer sun. The brown eye takes over in the summer glare as it is overly endowed with pigment.

4. Photos

https://youtube,com/watch?v=xCpo0y5lYBM

Frank in his formative years shortly after summer shave in his element easily trained on a penguin rescue in northern Wisconsin, Cunardly walk thru the snow Franzwa opening car door thirty feet behind the mechanical training penguin

For information on the Canardly or breeding of Cunardly contact your local kennel club.

Click here to play smack the penguin... The game is back up but please don't think we condone penguin abuse.

I'm sad to announce Frankie passed on to the happy hunting ground July 15, 2015 after a 15 year long and fun life.

He will be missed by all who's lives he had touched with his unique personality and unusual looks. He is buried in the barnyard where he greeted all of his Christmas tree friends over the years.

 

 

 

News Flash............fourth Cunardly recently found...in Minnesooda...

November 10, 2007

Hi to the Hanlon's, 

Gee it was great to read your web site and see the wonderful selection of trees you have available.  However, the most astounding thing was the revelation about the Cunardly breed of dog.  I now, finally, know the origins of my heretofore mystery dog.  I obtained the dog about 2 years ago from an itinerant Norwegian salesman who was peddling Granfors hewing axes and assorted hand tools for working with logs  to the builders of log cabins in Northern Minnesota.  I was able to trade him about 50  6 foot  long staves of rock-hard horn beam to be used for froe handles for the very unusual dog he had in his possession.  I learned that the peddler  was a direct descendent of Roald Amundson ….the first man to reach the South Pole.  I felt that he seemed to think that he got the better end of the deal.  He told me in passing that the dog was a very fussy eater.  Fussy eater was putting it mildly, he would grudgingly eat the dog food our other two dogs love.  The only time he would be really satiated would be at the end of deer season. When we would let him run free after being chained up during the 9 days of the firearms season.  Now I realize that he was gorging himself on gut piles left in the woods.  The following summer he spent most of his time in the water keeping cool.  He is the only dog that I have seen that is capable of diving and staying submerged for upwards of 2 minutes.  It didn’t take long before he was catching eel pout and devouring them completely.  The eel pout is a strange looking scale-less fish that is a fresh water cod which inhabit many of the lakes in the Northern half of Minnesota.  ‘Pout are a very fatty fish with a huge liver which makes up ¼ of its body weight,  making it an excellent penguin substitute.  Once he began catching and eating eel pout, he became a new dog and became a very ingratiating critter. People from all around our lake would anchor their boats in front of our place here on beautiful Camp Lake to just watch our dog catch his meals.  

Once winter set in and the lake was ice bound, our cunning Cunardly changed his tactics and his diet as well.  He would locate a beaver lodge (there are many on the lakes and streams in the area) and lay motionless on the ice a few feet from the beaver lodge.  Due to his high rate of metabolism and the body head generated, the ice would melt rather quickly, and then he could easily paw through the melting ice and create an air hole.  Once this was accomplished, he would then sit for hours until a beaver would come up for a breath of fresh air…..end of beaver.  Beaver with their copious body fat again, became a most welcome penguin substitute.  The tail seemed to be a very choice morsel.  Oh, sorry I forgot to give you our super dog’s most appropriate name….Blarney!   He must have a bit of the Irish sea dog in him.  

Erin go braugh!

Respectfully,

Patrick Lanin